Rich people: they would masturbate more, but all of the sex toys are just so common. Because really, what sort of message are you sending if you'll spend $600 on a T-shirt or $200,000 on a handbag, but you still put a $30 hunk of plastic from the corner porn store in your lady pocket? It's simply not refined.

Thankfully, Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP is here to save the wealthy once again with a round-up of "not so basic sex toys," one of which is a $15,000 gold-plated dildo from INEZ

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A good name for this would be "The Golden Gopher" because it lives in holes.

The website it's for sale on, LELO, notes that the dildo is "perfect for those who understand that you can’t put a price on pleasure," even though that's exactly what they did. Can a $15,000 dildo even be pleasurable, or would you spend the entire time worrying about what else you could have done with the money?

Of course you wouldn't... because if you buy this, you're rich! You don't have to worry about where the money comes from, where the money goes, what people think of you, or what you say in public. All you have to worry about is figuring out new ways to silence that little voice in your head that constantly tries to tell you something is wrong with your life. Fun!

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