Each of those dollars represents one teen girl's false ideas about her celebrity sweetheart.

This story is like a Russian doll of disappointment, for so many people and in so many ways.

First we have Justin Bieber, who has been genetically designed to give young women (and 33-year-old nutjobs with $100K to drop on plastic surgery) an impossible ideal of a baby-faced nice boy. Now that that has been accomplished, he has moved on to phase two: destroying his image in the most public and lewd way possible. He's a grown man now, and grown men like to do responsible things like hurl thousands of dollars at a woman who will show you things that millions of women are desperately trying to show you for free. It doesn't matter that every time he asked for a lapdance, he was shattering those millions of ladies' vain dreams of meeting Justin at a DQ on his way to a concert, and having an interesting conversation morph into a whirlwind romance where he admits that he always wanted to find a fan who truly understood him.

Ok, so that's disappointing for people who still somehow thought the Biebs was squeaky-clean, but hiring exotic dancers isn't necessarily a bad thing. If that's what he likes and he's nice to them...there's not much we can do about that. And who's to say that we can't understand the appeal? Bieber must worry that every woman he talks to only wants his money or fame. Why not remove the uncertainty by hiring a woman whom you know for sure is only there for money? It probably feels more honest than most of his interactions. Maybe J-Biebs actually just needs to talk to someone, and so he arranges Catcher in the Rye-style meetings between himself and various sex workers.

That would be slightly more plausible, of course, if not for the fact that the Biebs was not the only adult male in the room who could easily have been flashed by legions of willing women—Floyd Mayweather, Jr, widely considered the best pound-for-pound boxer on Earth, was also being treated to the naked stylings of one miss Diamond. Floyd Mayweather is a world-renowned champion boxer, which means he's been punched enough times to interact with any stripper he likes without a word from anyone. That does not, however, excuse his hanging out with Justin Bieber, let alone becoming good friends with him. That is very disappointing.

Finally, we have Diamond. Diamond talked about a gig, posted photos of herself at a job, named two clients by name, and worst of all, let a customer touch her. We're disappointed in you mostly, Diamond, because you violated the stripper's code of honor—something celebrities do not have.

(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: BuzzFeed | Diamond on Twitter