Madonna called her son the N-word on Instagram, and it did not go well for her.
Guys, she's just starting a really stupid, offensive dialogue.
So, this was a bad idea. I don't know exactly how Madonna thought this was a good idea, but I'm pretty sure any common sense she once had has been locked up in an English castle for 20 years now. I will say that when I first read the headline, I was somehow relieved that it was one of her white children. Then, I was more confused, and wasn't sure if I should be more upset that it was one of her white children. Then I was mad at myself for not knowing the right answer. Not as mad as other people were, though.
I have a feeling that Madonna will get off the hook on this one—not completely unscathed, but less damaged than most celebs would be—because many people are probably as confused as I am. Why did the use of the word enter her mind at all? Did she think that adopting children from Africa somehow gave her slang powers? (That would make no sense, but I'm just trying to get inside the Kabbala-lined fortress of her mind.) Did she somehow make that stupidest of Caucasian mistakes, thinking converting the -er into an -a would somehow make the word friendly and playful?
All I know is that her first response was indignant and defensive:
You can't have spaces in a hashtag, grandma. #GetOffOfMyDickHaters
That is, until her rep Liz Rosenberg woke up Saturday morning and presumably freaked the eff out over this. Madonna issued this statement through Rosenberg:
"I am sorry if I offended anyone with my use of the N word on Instagram.
It was not meant as a racial slur.. I am not a racist. There's no way to defend
the use of the word. It was all about intention... it was used as a term of
endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative
word and I apologize if it game people the wrong impression.
Well, that settles it, then. A little of the old "sorry if I offended anyone," a little of the old "there's no way to defend it" followed immediately by "it was all about intention."
Ah, celebrity apologies. You just can't get stuff like that anywhere else. Except in Congress, every day.
Don't use the N-Word, people. You are very unlikely to come up with a convincing excuse.
(by Johnny McNulty)