Taylor Swift saw an opportunity for a healthy dose of consensual man gropage with Tom Hiddleston on the 4th of July, and she went for it, teaching us all to take advantage of opportunities when they're presented to us. How American.

Taylor Swift pulls a Swifty by groping Tom Hiddleston's man boobs.
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At the beginning of relationships, you're always looking for opportunities to brush up against your new mate's naughty bits. Proving she's just like us, Swift did just that. The scene at the top of the water slide probably went down like this:

Taylor (to Abercrombie & Fitch looking model friends): Swifties, stay behind me, I got a plan.

Friends: Please, stop calling us Swifties, we're real people.

Taylor: Sure.

(Taylor wraps her legs around Tom, he glances back at her with a wink as if to say, "I'm emotionally present and not at all doing this to help my career." They slide. Taylor's hands raise from Tom's stomach to... wait for it... PROJECT GROPE MAN BOOBS ACCOMPLISHED).

Good for Taylor. It looked like she had a truly magical time creating very shareable social media 4th of July weekend.

Happy 4th from us ❤️

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

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