"It's like Walt Disney went insane and shot a snuff version of Swiss Family Robinson."

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Before I begin, let me emphasize something: this is a real fucking movie. Not a documentary. It's a fucking movie. I repeat: this is not a documentary about some batshit insane nature folks (except in the sense that the cats are literally credited as writers because their violence dictated the plot). It was intended to delight people with its plot. Instead, it was only released in theaters for 2 weeks in Europe. The only reason it was allowed on screen, I would imagine, was because no one actually died on screen. Not that they didn't come close.

Drafthouse Films, however, has decided that the Internet Age is ready for it, finally, if only because we love gaping at things that should never have existed in the first place. And they're right. I really want to see it.

It was, in theory, a drama/thriller. The actors—surprisingly famous actors—are not credited as themselves. Nevertheless, it is kind of a documentary, because director/writer/star Noel Marshall (best known for directing The Exorcist) and his real-life wife, actress Tippi Hendren (best known for Hitchcock's The Birds), and their real-life daughter, actress Melanie fucking Griffith (Working Girl) actually lived with this crazy menagerie of huge wild animals for 11 fucking years. During the filming, a cinematographer was scalped, Melanie Griffith required facial reconstruction, Tippi Hendren broke her leg and almost got her throat slashed, and Noel Marshall was bit so frequently he almost died of gangrene. (Just a heads up about this next clip—it's exactly what you fucking think.)

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Sources: IndieWire | Drafthouse Films