They have to be very careful about who they tell to "hose it down."

Closed captioning provides an immeasurably valuable service to all kinds of viewers, from the hearing impaired, to the guy watching Sportscenter for the sixth time on his lunch break at T.G.I. Friday's. But we had no idea how often they got things completely, hilariously wrong. Look at all the fun we've been missing out on by not being deaf.


The National Weather Service is urging people to stay indoors, saying that going outside is "just asking for it."


But whose butt is it? Just another one of LOST's unanswered mysteries. 


Aren't we all, Vanessa?


You're definitely going to need House after that.


60% of likely voters are calling it "uncomfortable, yet strangely arousing." 


We bet Oliver still gets beat up more.


Guys, please. "Check your toes"? That sperm is going to be everywhere.


This caption is clearly incorrect. Everyone knows Carlos Pena's nickname is "the Joseph Goebbels of baseball."


Nancy Reagan hasn't dropped an egg since her husband was in Bedtime For Bonzo.


If any Major League Baseball team is ovulating, it's definitely the Mets.


Gay marijuana: A Republican's worst nightmare.



What it looks like when you hire Rush Limbaugh to do your closed captioning.

Sources: Mandatory | OMG Funny Pictures