Now for Joffrey's fun villain song about forcing prostitutes to hurt each other.
While George R. R. Martin's fantasy universe is not wholly without song (we're looking at you, "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"), we can all be grateful that it's without the infantalizing idiocy that Disney has used to ruin every fairy tale the Grimms ever recorded (and, having exhausted that, moving on to Star Wars). But that doesn't mean it's not fun to imagine a world where The Mouse had defeated the lions, wolves, dragons and squid of Westeros. A world where badass Danaerys is reduced to a simpering, homesick girl and Robb Stark cruises through victory after victory before returning the Throne to Danaerys because it's the nice thing to do. The cutlery at the Night's Watch does a song and dance about how lonely and cold it is up at The Wall. White Walkers cackle and rub their frozen fingers together while explaining their plans in a clunky early-90's rap. Renly Baratheon, unfortunately, would probably just be cut entirely. But it's still fun to think about, because we can laugh at it from the safety of YouTube; until their lawyers show up, anyway.