Someone released the FBI's hilariously out-of-touch glossary of Internet slang.
Oh, crap, it's the 12! Don't forget, 143 always. ::POOF::! (via MuckRock)
The NSA, as we all know, has gotten pretty good at the Internet. But the NSA isn't "supposed to" interact with everyday citizens or investigate them for domestic crimes. The FBI does. Which makes it all the more worrying that the FBI has very little idea of how the Internet works. Fortunately, they made a glossary of all the acronyms and slang words that the kids are using on the World Wide Web to hide messages from their parents and the feds.
This font quality is definitely not even AAB.
The first sign that this is written by a bunch of old fogies is that the list is entitled "Twitter Shorthand." That's right. That's worse than calling all hip-hop music "the rap." It's like people who call all video games "Mario" (this used to happen, kids). Not all of the lingo is wrong, of course, but the stuff that they make up is almost impossible to even understand.
Pretty innocuous...unless coffee is also slang for something.
Coffee is definitely code for something.
This list was made available to the public thanks to a Freedom of Information request from the site MuckRock. Sadly, the FBI tried to hide their shame by responding with a document that is so crappy and low-resolution that it's pretty much illegible to normal people. However, the Washington Post combed through it and found some of these gems (the best being "ALOTBSOL," or "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life." Apparently, cyber-criminals watch Monty Pyhton's "The Life Of Brian" a lot).
They also decoded slang from the 9th grade.
WaPo also cross-checked it on Twitter to see how many times these "terms" have actually been used in the entire history of the website since 2007:
I think if someone ever used BTDTGTTSAWIO, I'd have to be all like BTWITIAILWY.
(by Johnny McNulty)