Family Ecards /  Displaying 1- 20 of 68 Card ViewIcon View

  • May. 10th, 2012

    Congratulations to Time magazine on making motherhood look more horrifying than reading Time magazine.

    Congratulations to Time magazine on making motherhood look more horrifying than reading Time magazine.

  • Dec. 13th, 2010

    If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.

    If I were a bird, I'd be the one who shows up right as they finish the nest.

  • Jul. 8th, 2011

    You're the man I want our children to spend their weekends with.

    You're the man I want our children to spend their weekends with.

  • Apr. 1st, 2011

    The NFL lockout is inspiring me to follow my dream of finding new ways to avoid spending time with my family.

    The NFL lockout is inspiring me to follow my dream of finding new ways to avoid spending time with my family.

  • Dec. 24th, 2010

    Sorry DADT still applies in your household.

    Sorry DADT still applies in your household.

  • Nov. 10th, 2010

    Mom, it takes zero effort to love you and a fifth of vodka to tolerate you.

    Mom, it takes zero effort to love you and a fifth of vodka to tolerate you.

  • Oct. 25th, 2010

    Family Beer and Liquor.

    Family Beer and Liquor.

  • Oct. 21st, 2010

    Having kids reminded me why I didn't want to have kids.

    Having kids reminded me why I didn't want to have kids.

  • Jul. 21st, 2010

    A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed.

    A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed.

  • Jun. 25th, 2010

    You always got us. We're family. We ain't going anywhere. Unless you go on a fucking killing spree or something.

    You always got us. We're family. We ain't going anywhere. Unless you go on a fucking killing spree or something.

  • Apr. 14th, 2010

    Justin Bieber is like the little brother I never had the chance to repeatedly beat the shit out of.

    Justin Bieber is like the little brother I never had the chance to repeatedly beat the shit out of.

  • Feb. 26th, 2009

    I love the sound of unconscious children.

    I love the sound of unconscious children.

  • Jan. 4th, 2009

    Sorry I received a disproportionate share of our parents' affection.

    Sorry I received a disproportionate share of our parents' affection.

  • Oct. 8th, 2008

    Let's go do something we can complain our future children never do anymore.

    Let's go do something we can complain our future children never do anymore.

  • Dec. 30th, 2007

    When I was your age, we had to dial to get online.

    When I was your age, we had to dial to get online.

  • Nov. 25th, 2007

    Let's grow something beautiful on top of your dead pet.

    Let's grow something beautiful on top of your dead pet.

  • Nov. 15th, 2007

    It's so cute when the baby thinks it's going to steal attention from us.

    It's so cute when the baby thinks it's going to steal attention from us.

  • Oct. 27th, 2007

    Your grandfather is messier than our toddler.

    Your grandfather is messier than our toddler.

  • Oct. 17th, 2007

    I hope I never have to cut you from the team.

    I hope I never have to cut you from the team.

  • Oct. 8th, 2007

    Mom, it's time to find someone and settle down.

    Mom, it's time to find someone and settle down.

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