No matter how far away you move, you'll always be a dear friend several of us think about sometimes
I can't decide between vacationing alone or staying home to relentlessly weep about being single
I promise to keep your Witness Protection Program whereabouts a secret
Let's visit every hot vacation spot we can get to on a half-tank of gas
Have a great vacation, and we'll email you if you shouldn't bother coming back
Good luck breaking into insular, well-established friend networks in your new city
You're welcome to stay at my place for as long as your presence is mostly indiscernible to me
Please take care of my dead or non-existent plants while I'm gone
Can't wait to see you more often once you move to another city
You must be excited to try convincing people you're excited to move to Brooklyn
I probably won't even remember that you're away
I got an HDTV and just wanted to say goodbye
Please take care of my dead or non-existent plants while I'm gone
I will pay you to no longer live here
Don't forget to bring your entire wardrobe