Sorry I can only afford the same Father's Day gift I gave you when I was seven
Dad, thanks for dating someone older than me during your mid-life crisis
Happy Father's Day in advance to someone who may be mature enough to have children by age 62
I hope this blue-tinted Father's Day card helps make up for the fact that I wasn't a boy
Happy Father's Day to a dad with a much hotter boyfriend than me
Dad, you're going to love what a reputable retailer suggested I get you for Father's Day
Dad, thanks for struggling with your homosexuality long enough to sire me
Happy Father's Day from someone who wants to have your babies
Dad, just want you to know I'm still not above competing for your love
Dad, thanks for pushing me to become a slightly better than mediocre athlete
Dad, I feel much closer to you now that fatherhood has devastated us both
This Father's Day, I'd like to treat you to some well-earned solitude
