My self-esteem comes from not responding to people who contact me on dating sites
If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor
I want you to sext me with the reckless abandon of a philandering golf legend
I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object
Let me know if you're interested in dating a terrible cook who overcompensates in bed
Let's have a frank discussion about our favorite sexual positions
Thought you should know that I totally blasted my pecs today
I promise to fantasize it's you who's manhandling me during the new pre-flight pat-downs
I blame your perfect breasts for my inability to focus during our conversations
I'm fully committed to this relationship for the entire honeymoon period
