Flirting Ecards /  Displaying 1- 20 of 348 Card ViewList ViewIcon View
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    I wish I could select all of your clothes and press Delete.

    I wish I could select all of your clothes and press Delete.

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    I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

    I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

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    If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you.

    If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you

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    I'd date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you.

    I'd date you so hard, then marry the shit out of you.

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    Nobody touches my junk quite the way you do.

    Nobody touches my junk quite the way you do.

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    I miss you like The Biggest Loser contestants miss high fructose corn syrup.

    I miss you like The Biggest Loser contestants miss high fructose corn syrup

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    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.

    From the first time I saw you I knew I was going to have real and/or imaginary sex with you.

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    I couldn't help noticing that you're mind-blowingly hot.

    I couldn't help noticing that you're mind-blowingly hot

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    If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor.

    If there was a Zagat guide for penises, yours would rate high on both service and decor

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    I genuinely enjoy any activity in which you bend over.

    I genuinely enjoy any activity in which you bend over

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    I wanna do boring things with you.

    I wanna do boring things with you.

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    We stick together like the papers in a porn magazine.

    We stick together like the papers in a porn magazine.

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    I assume that dressing up earns me at least a handjob.

    I assume that dressing up earns me at least a handjob

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    I love you so much, I will even talk to you on the phone.

    I love you so much, I will even talk to you on the phone.

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    I'm just a simple woman who wants her salad tossed.

    I'm just a simple woman who wants her salad tossed

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    You had me at your proper use of 'You're'.

    You had me at your proper use of "You're".

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    I blame your perfect breasts for my inability to focus during our conversations.

    I blame your perfect breasts for my inability to focus during our conversations

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    I love the way you make me laugh at you.

    I love the way you make me laugh at you.

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    I'm looking forward to trying not to try to have sex with you.

    I'm looking forward to trying not to try to have sex with you.

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    I would happily drill you with all the reckless abandon of a multi-billion dollar oil company.

    I would happily drill you with all the reckless abandon of a multi-billion dollar oil company.

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