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    You make me want to be a better liar.

    You make me want to be a better liar.

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    I am not the type of gentleman that requests oral sex before committing acts of arson.

    I am not the type of gentleman that requests oral sex before committing acts of arson.

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    I don't think you're as committed to this adulterous affair as I am.

    I don't think you're as committed to this adulterous affair as I am.

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    I'll wager you one unsatisfying evening that I come before you.

    I'll wager you one unsatisfying evening that I come before you.

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    I love you exactly the way I am.

    I love you exactly the way I am.

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    You're the best thing that's happened to me since porn.

    You're the best thing that's happened to me since porn.

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    I'm the perfect girlfriend until I actually become your girlfriend.

    I'm the perfect girlfriend until I actually become your girlfriend.

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    Let's make out like gay teens at Bible camp.

    Let's make out like gay teens at Bible camp.

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    Sex with you is so good, you're the one I imagine having sex with when I'm having sex with myself.

    Sex with you is so good, you're the one I imagine having sex with when I'm having sex with myself.

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    I have been warming up for our sex sessions.

    I have been warming up for our sex sessions.

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    You gave me a near-actual orgasm.

    You gave me a near-actual orgasm.

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    I'd wake up earlier than 10 a.m. for you.

    I'd wake up earlier than 10 a.m. for you.

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    I'm so glad the other people you're sleeping with weren't available tonight.

    I'm so glad the other people you're sleeping with weren't available tonight.

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    There's no one else I'd rather make regret the day he met me than you.

    There's no one else I'd rather make regret the day he met me than you.

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    I want to be the one everyone will wonder what the hell is doing with someone like you.

    I want to be the one everyone will wonder what the hell is doing with someone like you.

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    I want to wake up next to you not remembering your name.

    I want to wake up next to you not remembering your name.

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    The reason I don't last long during sex is because I want to cuddle sooner.

    The reason I don't last long during sex is because I want to cuddle sooner.

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    I wish I could have sex for every time I was turned down for sex.

    I wish I could have sex for every time I was turned down for sex.

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    Last night's sex would've cost me $4,500 with a prostitute.

    Last night's sex would've cost me $4,500 with a prostitute.

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    You're so hot, I'd Instagram you without a filter.

    You're so hot, I'd Instagram you without a filter.

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