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    There is no one else I would rather have a pregnancy scare with.

    There is no one else I would rather have a pregnancy scare with

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    You would be my first choice if there were no other choices.

    You would be my first choice if there were no other choices

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    I love you as much as my dog loves the smell of urine-soaked trees.

    I love you as much as my dog loves the smell of urine-soaked trees.

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    I had no idea your wife was married.

    I had no idea your wife was married.

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    I'm easier than community college.

    I'm easier than community college.

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    I would like to be on the list of suspects during your next pregnancy scare.

    I would like to be on the list of suspects during your next pregnancy scare.

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    I love the sound you make when you shut up.

    I love the sound you make when you shut up.

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    Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you.

    Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you.

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    I love to watch you listen to me talk about myself.

    I love to watch you listen to me talk about myself.

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    I would hold in my farts for you.

    I would hold in my farts for you.

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    You had me at 'What the fuck are you doing in my closet?!'

    You had me at "What the fuck are you doing in my closet?!"

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    I want to grow so old with you that people can't tell our genders apart.

    I want to grow so old with you that people can't tell our genders apart.

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    The best thing about you and me is me.

    The best thing about you and me is me.

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    I can take my eyes off you.

    I can take my eyes off you.

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    Nothing that Facebook changes will ever keep me from stalking you.

    Nothing that Facebook changes will ever keep me from stalking you.

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    Let's not complicate things with words or feelings.

    Let's not complicate things with words or feelings.

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    I'm sorry my slow response to your Facebook post made you think I wasn't stalking you anymore.

    I'm sorry my slow response to your Facebook post made you think I wasn't stalking you anymore.

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    If you love someone you should tell them every day because you never know when you'll find someone better.

    If you love someone you should tell them every day because you never know when you'll find someone better.

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    We stick together like the papers in a porn magazine.

    We stick together like the papers in a porn magazine.

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    You had me at your proper use of 'You're'.

    You had me at your proper use of "You're".

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