Paris Hilton saying her cocaine belonged to a friend reminded me I owe you a call
I'm glad we share a sense of humor and an understanding that I'm slightly funnier
I will be your friend no matter what you put inside your anus
If you ever disappeared while hiking, I'd remain with the search party until it started raining
I promise I'll never hide my identity if I run a blog that calls you a skank
Maybe it's the booze talking, but I want you to know I love booze
I couldn't get through Mondays without knowing you're equally miserable
