• refine by:
  •  

    It's not brunch with the girls unless one of us is in the clothes from the night before.

    It's not brunch with the girls unless one of us is in the clothes from the night before

  •  

    We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

    We'll be best friends forever because you already know too much.

  •  

    We're total fucking bad asses.

    We're total fucking bad asses

  •  

    I'm glad we share a sense of humor and an understanding that I'm slightly funnier.

    I'm glad we share a sense of humor and an understanding that I'm slightly funnier

  •  

    I appreciate your friendship so much that if we ever got into a fist fight I'd totally try my best to avoid your face.

    I appreciate your friendship so much that if we ever got into a fist fight I'd totally try my best to avoid your face.

  •  

    I am just going to keep calling and texting you until you understand how normal I am.

    I am just going to keep calling and texting you until you understand how normal I am.

  •  

    Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice.

    Let's talk soon because I miss you hearing the sound of my voice

  •  

    Our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.

    Our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness

  •  

    If I were ever to shoot you, it would just be in the leg.

    If I were ever to shoot you, it would just be in the leg

  •  

    I have something extremely unimportant to tell you ASAP.

    I have something extremely unimportant to tell you ASAP

  •  

    Life would be easier if we were gay.

    Life would be easier if we were gay

  •  

    We hate all the same people.

    We hate all the same people

  •  

    Let's ridicule our friend's baby.

    Let's ridicule our friend's baby

  •  

    Let's go maniacally obsess about our lives in a soothing environment.

    Let's go maniacally obsess about our lives in a soothing environment

  •  

    If ever you die from auto-erotic asphyxiation I promise to rearrange your corpse before it's discovered by your loved ones.

    If ever you die from auto-erotic asphyxiation I promise to rearrange your corpse before it's discovered by your loved ones.

  •  

    This just in: Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

    This just in: Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

  •  

    I will be your friend no matter what you put inside your anus.

    I will be your friend no matter what you put inside your anus

  •  

    I can't believe you haven't seen a movie or TV show I think you should have seen.

    I can't believe you haven't seen a movie or TV show I think you should have seen

  •  

    I wish I had your hair.

    I wish I had your hair

  •  

    If you ever disappeared while hiking, I'd remain with the search party until it started raining.

    If you ever disappeared while hiking, I'd remain with the search party until it started raining

DON'T MISS THIS