


I'm glad we share a sense of humor and an understanding that I'm slightly funnier

I will be your friend no matter what you put inside your anus

Maybe it's the booze talking, but I want you to know I love booze

Just a heads up that I have no intention of stabbing you 23 times on the Ides of March

I'm trusting you to tell me when it's no longer acceptable to blast Thriller from my car stereo

If you ever disappeared while hiking, I'd remain with the search party until it started raining