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    Let's march one block to celebrate our near-gay experience.

    Let's march one block to celebrate our near-gay experience

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    The Gay Pride Parade is a startling reminder of how many people I've slept with at the Gay Pride Parade.

    The Gay Pride Parade is a startling reminder of how many people I've slept with at the Gay Pride Parade

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    Happy Gay Pride Month to someone I'd consider switching sides for if my hetero options don't rapidly improve.

    Happy Gay Pride Month to someone I'd consider switching sides for if my hetero options don't rapidly improve

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    Perhaps being around me and my spouse for any extended time period will help ease your pain over the outcome of Prop 8.

    Perhaps being around me and my spouse for any extended time period will help ease your pain over the outcome of Prop 8

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    Sorry the Gay Pride Parade has become more about serious issues and less about giant inflatable penises.

    Sorry the Gay Pride Parade has become more about serious issues and less about giant inflatable penises

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    I did shameful things at the Gay Pride Parade.

    I did shameful things at the Gay Pride Parade

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    Let's celebrate love, acceptance, and our right to act as publicly idiotic as straight people.

    Let's celebrate love, acceptance, and our right to act as publicly idiotic as straight people

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    May you someday have the same right as straight men to subject a spouse to humiliating sex scandals.

    May you someday have the same right as straight men to subject a spouse to humiliating sex scandals

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    I oppose the Gay Pride Parade because it reminds me all the hot guys I want to sleep with are gay.

    I oppose the Gay Pride Parade because it reminds me all the hot guys I want to sleep with are gay

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    Sorry you can't fit into the leathers you wore to Stonewall.

    Sorry you can't fit into the leathers you wore to Stonewall

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    I'm proud we can dedicate a whole day to tormenting religious fundamentalists.

    I'm proud we can dedicate a whole day to tormenting religious fundamentalists

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    Saying you'd make a hideous drag queen was intended to be a compliment.

    Saying you'd make a hideous drag queen was intended to be a compliment

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    Let's break down gay stereotypes by wearing rainbow thongs and feather headdresses on glitter-covered floats.

    Let's break down gay stereotypes by wearing rainbow thongs and feather headdresses on glitter-covered floats

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    Let's celebrate our sexual orientation by making it impossible for people to cross town this weekend.

    Let's celebrate our sexual orientation by making it impossible for people to cross town this weekend.

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    Let's give thanks there isn't a parade where straight guys feel comfortable enough to take off their shirts and dance.

    Let's give thanks there isn't a parade where straight guys feel comfortable enough to take off their shirts and dance.

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    I'd be much more into the Gay Pride Parade if real lesbians were like porn lesbians.

    I'd be much more into the Gay Pride Parade if real lesbians were like porn lesbians

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    I wish I had even an inkling of straight pride.

    I wish I had even an inkling of straight pride

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    Sorry your homosexuality isn't edgy anymore.

    Sorry your homosexuality isn't edgy anymore.

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    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay.

    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay

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