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    May you someday have the same right as straight men to subject a spouse to humiliating sex scandals.

    May you someday have the same right as straight men to subject a spouse to humiliating sex scandals

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    I oppose the Gay Pride Parade because it reminds me all the hot guys I want to sleep with are gay.

    I oppose the Gay Pride Parade because it reminds me all the hot guys I want to sleep with are gay

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    Sorry the Gay Pride Parade has become more about serious issues and less about giant inflatable penises.

    Sorry the Gay Pride Parade has become more about serious issues and less about giant inflatable penises

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    Let's march one block to celebrate our near-gay experience.

    Let's march one block to celebrate our near-gay experience

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    The Gay Pride Parade is a startling reminder of how many people I've slept with at the Gay Pride Parade.

    The Gay Pride Parade is a startling reminder of how many people I've slept with at the Gay Pride Parade

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    I'm impressed you found something even gayer than the Gay Pride Parade to do this weekend.

    I'm impressed you found something even gayer than the Gay Pride Parade to do this weekend

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    Happy Gay Pride Month to someone I'd consider switching sides for if my hetero options don't rapidly improve.

    Happy Gay Pride Month to someone I'd consider switching sides for if my hetero options don't rapidly improve

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    Perhaps being around me and my spouse for any extended time period will help ease your pain over the outcome of Prop 8.

    Perhaps being around me and my spouse for any extended time period will help ease your pain over the outcome of Prop 8

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    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay.

    Admit that having gay pride is pretty gay

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    I wish I had even an inkling of straight pride.

    I wish I had even an inkling of straight pride

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    I'd be much more into the Gay Pride Parade if real lesbians were like porn lesbians.

    I'd be much more into the Gay Pride Parade if real lesbians were like porn lesbians

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    Let's break down gay stereotypes by wearing rainbow thongs and feather headdresses on glitter-covered floats.

    Let's break down gay stereotypes by wearing rainbow thongs and feather headdresses on glitter-covered floats

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    It's time we all accepted the Gay Pride Parade isn't much gayer than any other parade.

    It's time we all accepted the Gay Pride Parade isn't much gayer than any other parade

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    Happy Gay Pride Day to an inevitable homosexual.

    Happy Gay Pride Day to an inevitable homosexual

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    Marching in the Gay Pride Parade is less exciting now that my parents support my sexual orientation.

    Marching in the Gay Pride Parade is less exciting now that my parents support my sexual orientation

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    Even at the Gay Pride Parade you're going to seem relatively gay.

    Even at the Gay Pride Parade you're going to seem relatively gay

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    Saying you'd make a hideous drag queen was intended to be a compliment.

    Saying you'd make a hideous drag queen was intended to be a compliment

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    I'm proud we can dedicate a whole day to tormenting religious fundamentalists.

    I'm proud we can dedicate a whole day to tormenting religious fundamentalists

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    Sorry you can't fit into the leathers you wore to Stonewall.

    Sorry you can't fit into the leathers you wore to Stonewall

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    When we bump into each other at the Gay Pride Parade, remember to look surprised.

    When we bump into each other at the Gay Pride Parade, remember to look surprised

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