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  • Jan. 18th, 2009

    Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness.

    Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness.

  • Oct. 10th, 2007

    Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again.

    Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again.

  • Oct. 28th, 2007

    I don't mind if you get me sick.

    I don't mind if you get me sick.

  • Apr. 13th, 2007

    Get well soon so that I find you attractive again.

    Get well soon so that I find you attractive again.

  • Mar. 3rd, 2009

    Since you're sick, it may be safer if we don't kiss and just go directly into oral sex.

    Since you're sick, it may be safer if we don't kiss and just go directly into oral sex.

  • Jul. 26th, 2010

    Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer.

    Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer.

  • Sep. 28th, 2010

    I hope you recover from your mysterious ailment that only affects you during working hours.

    I hope you recover from your mysterious ailment that only affects you during working hours.

  • May. 18th, 2007

    I'm not sure Airborne will solve all your problems.

    I'm not sure Airborne will solve all your problems.

  • Aug. 23rd, 2007

    Get the goddamn surgery already.

    Get the goddamn surgery already.

  • Feb. 22nd, 2010

    I look forward to spending time with you once there are no remaining traces of your minor cold.

    I look forward to spending time with you once there are no remaining traces of your minor cold.

  • Jan. 7th, 2009

    While I find your religion hateful, closed-minded and utterly ridiculous, you are still encouraged to pray for my recovery.

    While I find your religion hateful, closed-minded and utterly ridiculous, you are still encouraged to pray for my recovery.

  • Jan. 5th, 2009

    I won't be accepting any assistance from you during my illness for fear you will one day expect me to reciprocate.

    I won't be accepting any assistance from you during my illness for fear you will one day expect me to reciprocate.

  • Jan. 3rd, 2009

    Good to see that your horrible, debilitating cold hasn't kept you from looking at internet porn.

    Good to see that your horrible, debilitating cold hasn't kept you from looking at internet porn.

  • May. 18th, 2007

    Could be time for a pointless visit to your primary care physician.

    Could be time for a pointless visit to your primary care physician.

  • May. 20th, 2008

    Just a head's up that I'm sick and would appreciate the opportunity to bravely decline your offers of attention.

    Just a head's up that I'm sick and would appreciate the opportunity to bravely decline your offers of attention.

  • Jun. 24th, 2008

    You've temporarily upstaged the office pregnancies.

    You've temporarily upstaged the office pregnancies.

  • Apr. 13th, 2007

    Get well soon because your cough is fucking disgusting.

    Get well soon because your cough is fucking disgusting.

  • Jan. 18th, 2009

    It was brave of you to come into work with the flu and give us all the flu.

    It was brave of you to come into work with the flu and give us all the flu.

  • Sep. 19th, 2007

    Thanks for the unqualified medical advice.

    Thanks for the unqualified medical advice.

  • Apr. 14th, 2007

    Sorry you're feeling like such a pussy.

    Sorry you're feeling like such a pussy.

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