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I look forward to spending time with you once there are no remaining traces of your minor cold

Since you're sick, it may be safer if we don't kiss and just go directly into oral sex

I'm way too sick for work but should be fine for happy hour

Congratulations on Googling your way to a misdiagnosis of terminal cancer

It was brave of you to come into work with the flu and give us all the flu

Sorry your sick day is due to actual sickness

Sorry you're one of those people who seems to get sick all the time

Taking a daily vitamin should help with the illusion you're somehow repairing the grisly damage you've caused your body all these years

Good luck detecting the ambiguous symptoms caused by poppy-seed-sized, Lyme-disease-carrying ticks

You've temporarily upstaged the office pregnancies

Just a head's up that I'm sick and would appreciate the opportunity to bravely decline your offers of attention

Thanks for alerting me to your germ-infested hands

Glad you're feeling well enough to smoke

I'm wondering if you can recommend a really good quack in our health plan

You should get a second opinion on your hypochondria

I don't mind if you get me sick

Get well soon before the company realizes you're expendable

Feel better so I can guiltlessly make fun of you again

Try not to enjoy the hernia exam

Natural remedies are killing me

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