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    I'd like to apply for a refund on my college education.

    I'd like to apply for a refund on my college education

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    Your GPA will open many doors for you.

    Your GPA will open many doors for you

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    Congratulations on getting through college without getting pregnant.

    Congratulations on getting through college without getting pregnant

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    Good luck finding shameful entry-level employment.

    Good luck finding shameful entry-level employment

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    Your resume sucks.

    Your resume sucks

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    If you're feeling stressed about finals, just remember that corporate America doesn't even care if you graduate.

    If you're feeling stressed about finals, just remember that corporate America doesn't even care if you graduate

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    Graduation is when your summers of unpaid internships finally earn you a full-time unpaid internship.

    Graduation is when your summers of unpaid internships finally earn you a full-time unpaid internship.

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    Sorry you'll someday regret having too much or not enough fun in college.

    Sorry you'll someday regret having too much or not enough fun in college

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