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I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut

I don't need it to be Halloween for me to have a bloodcurdling Monday

I couldn't help noticing you spent more money on your Halloween costume than on my birthday present

If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween, just log back in to Google Plus

I'd dress up as Siri for Halloween if my life didn't already entail being asked stupid questions all day

Instead of candy this Halloween, I'm passing out all the canned goods I bought for Raptures that never happened

This Halloween I'm going as The Situation if he stopped going to the gym

Sorry you were too fat for a one size fits all Halloween costume.

No Halloween costume could ever creep me out as much as your regular attire.

If you think you're too cool to dress up for Halloween just go as a hipster

Your costume sounds annoyingly similar to mine

I hear you're going as the total dickbag who doesn't dress up

I've put more thought into my Halloween costume than into my career

I'm certain your intoxication alone will sufficiently scare others

I'll dress like a vampire if you'll drink enough to make me look anything like anyone from Twilight, True Blood, or any of that other crap you watch

If the economy doesn't improve, we may need to commit real crimes this Mischief Night

If you want to see me look like death this Halloween, just stop by my desk the morning after

Sorry your Halloween costume is going to be much more cumbersome and uncomfortable than you expected

You seem a little too excited about dressing in drag

Be sure to hang onto your hobo costume after Halloween in case the financial bailout doesn't work

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