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I love you enough to be seen in public wearing matching Halloween costumes

You scare me

I'm looking for a costume that makes me look thin

You seem a little too excited about dressing in drag

I hear you're going as the total dickbag who doesn't dress up

I'm certain your intoxication alone will sufficiently scare others

If the economy doesn't improve, we may need to commit real crimes this Mischief Night

I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total slut

Since everyone's dressing as Sarah Palin for Halloween, you should go as her developmentally disabled political prop baby

Sorry your Halloween costume is going to be much more cumbersome and uncomfortable than you expected

Be sure to hang onto your hobo costume after Halloween in case the financial bailout doesn't work

Let's celebrate the one night a year our white suburban neighborhood can pose as "scary"

I'm honoring the memory of Heath Ledger with a 15-dollar Joker mask from Walmart

I assume you're going as a vampire since I haven't seen you in daylight for months

Please get a full assessment of your physical appearance before committing to a bare-chested Hulk costume

Let's decorate our home like the haunted house it will resemble after the foreclosure

I hope Wiccans don't cast a spell on me for my stereotypical caricature of a wicked witch

I'm always happy to escape the stifling confines of my identity, if only for a few hours at the end of October

I wish we could still cover neighborhood trees in toilet paper without feeling guilty about wasting precious resources

Best of luck choosing a costume that's not too clever for anyone to understand

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