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    Let's ignore Avatar's environmental message by wearing a plastic, non-biodegradable Na'vi costume one time before throwing it away.

    Let's ignore Avatar's environmental message by wearing a plastic, non-biodegradable Na'vi costume one time before throwing it away

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    If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween, just log back in to Google Plus.

    If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween, just log back in to Google Plus

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    Let's get high on fructose.

    Let's get high on fructose

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    May the 32 dudes at your Halloween sausage fest be misconstrued as part of your Chilean miner costume.

    May the 32 dudes at your Halloween sausage fest be misconstrued as part of your Chilean miner costume

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    Your costume sounds annoyingly similar to mine.

    Your costume sounds annoyingly similar to mine

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    I'm dressing up this Halloween as the ghost of Rick Perry's presidential run.

    I'm dressing up this Halloween as the ghost of Rick Perry's presidential run.

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    I'm dressing as Justin Bieber this Halloween in the hopes of being legally statutorily raped.

    I'm dressing as Justin Bieber this Halloween in the hopes of being legally statutorily raped

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    My favorite part of Halloween this year is that Sarah Palin isn't topical enough to be a costume.

    My favorite part of Halloween this year is that Sarah Palin isn't topical enough to be a costume

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    Just double-checking that your Obama costume will involve a mask and not shoe polish.

    Just double-checking that your Obama costume will involve a mask and not shoe polish

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    Drunkenly failing at your job makes you the perfect candidate for a Red Sox costume this Halloween.

    Drunkenly failing at your job makes you the perfect candidate for a Red Sox costume this Halloween

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    Sorry in advance for egging your home if you put anything remotely healthy in my trick-or-treat bag.

    Sorry in advance for egging your home if you put anything remotely healthy in my trick-or-treat bag

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    Instead of candy this Halloween, I'm passing out all the canned goods I bought for Raptures that never happened.

    Instead of candy this Halloween, I'm passing out all the canned goods I bought for Raptures that never happened

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    I'll dress like a vampire if you'll drink enough to make me look anything like anyone from Twilight, True Blood, or any of that other crap you watch.

    I'll dress like a vampire if you'll drink enough to make me look anything like anyone from Twilight, True Blood, or any of that other crap you watch

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    Your inability to communicate on the phone will be an asset to your Tony La Russa Halloween costume.

    Your inability to communicate on the phone will be an asset to your Tony La Russa Halloween costume

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    Fake spider webs are a great way to distract people from your real bedbugs.

    Fake spider webs are a great way to distract people from your real bedbugs

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    If your Halloween costume makes no sense whatsoever I'll just assume you're dressed as Inception.

    If your Halloween costume makes no sense whatsoever I'll just assume you're dressed as Inception

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    No Halloween costume could ever creep me out as much as your regular attire.

    No Halloween costume could ever creep me out as much as your regular attire.

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    This Halloween, I'm spending $150,000 to dress as someone pretending to be remotely sane enough to one day run the United States.

    This Halloween, I'm spending $150,000 to dress as someone pretending to be remotely sane enough to one day run the United States.

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    I'm sorry your bed bug costume got infested by bed bugs.

    I'm sorry your bed bug costume got infested by bed bugs.

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    You strike me as one of those people who hands out fruit on Halloween.

    You strike me as one of those people who hands out fruit on Halloween.

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