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  • Dec. 6th, 2010

    Happy Hanukkah to someone spending eight days subtly trying to conceal their Judaism.

    Happy Hanukkah to someone spending eight days subtly trying to conceal their Judaism.

  • Dec. 21st, 2011

    Let's celebrate Hanukkah by seeing a movie about a girl who will never be buried in a Jewish cemetery.

    Let's celebrate Hanukkah by seeing a movie about a girl who will never be buried in a Jewish cemetery.

  • Dec. 23rd, 2011

    Sorry the story of Hanukkah seems more made up than the story of Festivus.

    Sorry the story of Hanukkah seems more made up than the story of Festivus.

  • Oct. 28th, 2007

    I cheat at dreidel.

    I cheat at dreidel.

  • Oct. 28th, 2007

    Have a happy Hanukkah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah, or however the fuck you spell it.

    Have a happy Hanukkah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah, or however the fuck you spell it.

  • Oct. 28th, 2007

    I want a Christmas tree for Hanukkah.

    I want a Christmas tree for Hanukkah.

  • Apr. 15th, 2007

    Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is.

    Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is.

  • Aug. 27th, 2007

    I'm Jewish today.

    I'm Jewish today.

  • Nov. 14th, 2007

    May all your Hanukkah wishes come true even though you're half a Jew.

    May all your Hanukkah wishes come true even though you're half a Jew.

  • Oct. 25th, 2010

    Shalom Christian Books And Gifts.

    Shalom Christian Books And Gifts.

  • Nov. 24th, 2007

    Gelt talks.

    Gelt talks.

  • Nov. 24th, 2007

    Have a happy Hanukkah if you can figure out when it is.

    Have a happy Hanukkah if you can figure out when it is.

  • Dec. 14th, 2008

    Don't forget to purchase token Hanukkah decorations so your holiday party doesn't seem racist.

    Don't forget to purchase token Hanukkah decorations so your holiday party doesn't seem racist.

  • Dec. 14th, 2008

    Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler.

    Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler.

  • Dec. 14th, 2008

    Let's light menorahs to commemorate an eight-day miracle and because we can barely afford our electric bill.

    Let's light menorahs to commemorate an eight-day miracle and because we can barely afford our electric bill.

  • Dec. 14th, 2008

    Happy Hanukkah to a Jew who celebrates Christmas.

    Happy Hanukkah to a Jew who celebrates Christmas.

  • Dec. 21st, 2008

    Let's celebrate an eight-day miracle in one half-assed evening.

    Let's celebrate an eight-day miracle in one half-assed evening.

  • Dec. 21st, 2008

    Allow me to summarize the heroic Jewish uprising against the banning of our religion by mumbling a prayer written in phonetic Hebrew.

    Allow me to summarize the heroic Jewish uprising against the banning of our religion by mumbling a prayer written in phonetic Hebrew.

  • Dec. 8th, 2009

    Let's pretend we're having as much holiday fun as Christians.

    Let's pretend we're having as much holiday fun as Christians.

  • Nov. 30th, 2010

    I hope Hanukkah shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday saved you money but not enough to perpetuate a stereotype.

    I hope Hanukkah shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday saved you money but not enough to perpetuate a stereotype.

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