


Let's celebrate an eight-day miracle in one half-assed evening

Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler

Don't forget to purchase token Hanukkah decorations so your holiday party doesn't seem racist

May all your Hanukkah wishes come true even though you're half a Jew

Have a happy Hanukkah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah, or however the fuck you spell it
Have a good whatever Jewish holiday it is
Let's celebrate an eight-day miracle in one half-assed evening
Happy Hanukkah to a Jew who celebrates Christmas
Let's light menorahs to commemorate an eight-day miracle and because we can barely afford our electric bill
Sorry the closest your holiday comes to a spiritual figurehead is Adam Sandler