I'm sending you a Black History Month card because I don't have any black friends.
Let's celebrate Rick Perry being sent back to his hunting camp before Black History Month.
Happy Black History Month to someone I hope isn't offended by the term "black".
We must break down racial stereotypes that imply white people have smaller penises.
Try not to think about the fact that Newt Gingrich is having more sex than you this Valentine's Day.
May you finish stronger than the New England Patriots this Valentine's Day.
Happy Presidents Day even if you were recently ousted from ruling a North African nation.
Happy Presidents Day to someone I can't believe is president of something.
Presidents Day is just another Monday I'm celebrating Sarah Palin not being president.
I don't even think being president could get me to give a shit about Presidents Day.
Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
