Happy Independence Day to anyone not recently sentenced to 150 years in prison
[Video Card] What independence day is about (Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter)
You're invited to drink enough on my roof that it's a bad idea to be on my roof
Call me a masochist, but I can't say I would have minded 232 years of oppressive colonial rule
This July 4th, I'm certainly not above a Jim Beam-fueled "U-S-A" chant
I have profound respect for the one sentence of the Declaration of Independence I've actually read
Thank god our Founding Fathers didn't decide to declare independence in winter
Curious if you can handle the mind-numbingly simple task of bringing ice to my barbecue
I hope the perplexing days of having a non-American hot dog eating champion remain behind us
I'm patriotic in that I sometimes get astonishingly hammered on only American-sounding beers
Let's honor America with fireworks purchased from illegal immigrants
