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    I wish there was a holiday for people who don't do shit all day.

    I wish there was a holiday for people who don't do shit all day

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    Take comfort this Labor Day in knowing the pressure to have fun this summer is finally over.

    Take comfort this Labor Day in knowing the pressure to have fun this summer is finally over

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    Labor Day is a fitting tribute to the contributions of American workers in industries other than those that recently destroyed America.

    Labor Day is a fitting tribute to the contributions of American workers in industries other than those that recently destroyed America

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    Let's do as little as humanly possible until Labor Day so we'll have the energy to do slightly more than that afterwards.

    Let's do as little as humanly possible until Labor Day so we'll have the energy to do slightly more than that afterwards

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    Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend.

    Here's to hopefully still having jobs when we return from Labor Day weekend

  •  

    Labor Day begins my slow transition from ogling women outside to ogling women online.

    Labor Day begins my slow transition from ogling women outside to ogling women online

  •  

    Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer.

    Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer

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    FYI, Labor Day is generally the termination date for all my air conditioning-based sexual relationships.

    FYI, Labor Day is generally the termination date for all my air conditioning-based sexual relationships

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    Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer.

    Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer

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    Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter.

    Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter

  •  

    Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.

    Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year

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