I hope your Ash Wednesday isn't ruined by being reminded you're going to die
I'm giving up Internet porn for Lent so I'll be needing a lot more actual sex
You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent
I hope your 40 days of shame, penitence, and self-denial are going well
I believe I'm getting closer to God by spending a few weeks not eating M&M's
Lent is when I determine which addictions I may still have some control over
I've begun my 40-day celebration of no longer being religious
Congratulations on Jesus denying Satan's request to make bread out of stone
I'm giving up being a self-hating Jew for Lent
Let's give up our worst vices with the understanding that in about a month we'll indulge them with twice the fervor
I hope your Ash Wednesday isn't ruined by being reminded you're going to die
This Lent, I'm giving up fantasizing about all the things I was going to buy with the Christmas bonus I never got
I'm giving up Internet porn for Lent so I'll be needing a lot more actual sex