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    This Ash Wednesday, best wishes on proving you love Jesus more than you love not looking ridiculous in front of your peers.

    This Ash Wednesday, best wishes on proving you love Jesus more than you love not looking ridiculous in front of your peers

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    You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent.

    You may as well wait 40 more days to call me because I'm giving up flaky guys for Lent

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    I'd consider following Christ if he was on Twitter.

    I'd consider following Christ if he was on Twitter

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    I hope your 40 days of shame, penitence, and self-denial are going well.

    I hope your 40 days of shame, penitence, and self-denial are going well

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    Lent is my favorite time of year to not be Christian.

    Lent is my favorite time of year to not be Christian

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    I believe I'm getting closer to God by spending a few weeks not eating M&M's.

    I believe I'm getting closer to God by spending a few weeks not eating M&M's

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    Lent is when I determine which addictions I may still have some control over.

    Lent is when I determine which addictions I may still have some control over

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    I've begun my 40-day celebration of no longer being religious.

    I've begun my 40-day celebration of no longer being religious

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    Congratulations on Jesus denying Satan's request to make bread out of stone.

    Congratulations on Jesus denying Satan's request to make bread out of stone

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    I'm giving up being a self-hating Jew for Lent.

    I'm giving up being a self-hating Jew for Lent

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