someecards.com - I know I am getting old when my friends start having kids on purpose.


someecards.com - I find nothing suspicious about concealing my birth year on Facebook


someecards.com - I'm not fat, I'm married.


someecards.com - I think we'll be friends forever because we're too lazy to find new friends.


someecards.com - I'm concerned my workouts have become tailored more to not dying than to getting laid


someecards.com - I just realized we're too old to be the young guys cougars would consider for filthy intergenerational sex


someecards.com - My decreasing libido is dovetailing nicely with my increasingly disgusting appearance


someecards.com - I wanna do boring things with you.


someecards.com - I just thought of a new way to recycle my old ideas


someecards.com - I'm waiting to get married until my age group's first batch of divorces


someecards.com - Reading music reviews makes me feel stupid


someecards.com - Let's relax tonight by spending two hours trying to find something to watch on Netflix.


someecards.com - I'm pretending to be hungover tomorrow so coworkers don't find out I go to bed at 10:30 p.m.


someecards.com - Love Coupon: Entitles you to one special evening of sleepy, mechanical weeknight sex.


someecards.com - I hope I die first


someecards.com - Sorry I'm too old to have a disgusting bachelor party


someecards.com - I don't have any recent pictures of me on my dating profile because I haven't done anything worth documenting for the last 15 years


someecards.com - At my age, Spring Break means taking my full 30 minutes for lunch


someecards.com - We should have sex if we're ever somehow both in bed and awake at the same time.


someecards.com - There's nothing quite as sad as our happy hours

 

More inspiring stuff:

Advertising