Oh, thank God. I thought you'd gone insane. Twice.
If there really was a war on Christmas, it would be fought with gifts of Sarah Palin books and Nickleback albums, because no one would ever want Christmas again. Fortunately for this gift recipient, the mortal terror of having to pretend to enjoy Alaskan-sized portions of mediocrity for a Christmas afternoon was only temporary. Then they could enjoy Christmas the most American way possible: in front of a TV for eight hours playing a $60 orgy of gun-based videogames.