Let this cartoon from Formal Sweatpants be a warning to the millions of you who've decided that gluten and dairy are the new Bin Laden. Santa doesn't shop at the same locally sourced food co-op as you. He doesn't click like on your outraged Facebook posts about white sugar. And he doesn't give a crap about what some dietitian convinced you that you're allergic to. He's a big fat man who wants sugary, buttery cookies and a glass of milk. You have every other day of the year to be insufferable. Christmas Eve is for Santa.