This guy had sex with Pop Tarts and a hot pocket and now he's famous. UPDATE: He's also been kicked off Twitter.
You can suspend his Twitter but...well, he did still **** that Hot Pocket. (via The Daily Dot)
How do I phrase this? There's this teenaged guy who goes by Thot Pocket (or @VERSACEPOPTARTS), and he has a pretty misanthropic and weird and sometimes hilarious Twitter feed. He also has sexual intercourse with popular packaged snackfoods and puts the video on Vine. Right now, he's in the spotlight for having sex with a Hot Pocket, which I think Hot Pocket should have embraced, since they've been recalled after being found with tainted-meat, and this would be a great way to repurpose all those inedible, mouth-burning monstrosities. They certainly weren't as kind as Domino's was to a man claiming to have burnt his penis while having sex with a pizza.
UPDATE: His Twitter account has now been suspended as well. Fortunately, The Daily Dot was smart enough to take more screenshots than I did, but for some things, we're left with this:
So glad I used a condom pic.twitter.com/9DAL0kwWOT— Thot Pocket (@VERSACEPOPTARTS) February 26, 2014
It was a reference to this story. I'm glad he was making responsible decisions.
Thot Pocket's first "big hit" happened last week when he defiled some Pop Tarts, although whether it was just the box or the tarts themselves I don't know, because the Vine is no longer available (as you will see...plus, I doubt we're really skipping over the nuance of the performance). But he did post this picture, which heavily suggests he didn't even unpack them (or he heated them all up and put them back in the box? Why am I trying to solve this puzzle?):
This is one bae who definitely got caught slippin.
This earned him some notoriety, as one might imagine, and he upped the ante:
A journey of a thousand burns begins with a single tweet.
AND SO HE DID, and for a while he was riding high on his daring accomplishment, and wasn't afraid to gloat.
Guy doesn't mince words. He means what he says, and he says what he fucked. (via)
Apparently, @HotPockets didn't appreciate his unromantic manner.
Give her time, dude. She's full of tainted meat and has a lot on her plate. (via)
Neither, for that matter, did Vine appreciate his having sex with things on camera:
There are plenty of sites that will give you Bitcoins for doing that. (via)
I don't have screenshots for these next two, immortalized in bare text. But we can see he turned to his fans for support:
rt if you support me fucking hot pockets— Thot Pocket (@VERSACEPOPTARTS) February 24, 2014
So many people SAY they support it, but how many DO something?
Regardless of what happens, he still has big plans for the future:
200 retweets and I'll fuck a rotisserie chicken on vine pic.twitter.com/XziDeIqnYz— Thot Pocket (@VERSACEPOPTARTS) February 26, 2014
I mean, OBVIOUSLY, right? It got over 800, by the way.
But for now, he's going to have to borrow a friend's account if he wants to have sex with things on Twitter or Vine:
Today is a sad day for attention-hungry weirdos everywhere.
(by Johnny McNulty)