You start off eating this pizza thinking, "I'm just eating because I'm hungry. It's not like this pizza will change me." By the second or third piece, you start getting angry that other people are taking credit for the pizza you ate. You think it's a crime that you should die with your pizza-eating accomplishments never being known. You'll soon forget why you started eating pizza in the first place. Until the day comes when you realize you're no longer eating the pizza. It's the pizza that's eating you. Oh and also, soy bacon? Is this pizza for Walter or that crunchy granola Gale?

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[ Via Buzzfeed]