Perfect for first dates, second dates and wedding nights, new "Shreddies" eliminate fart odor at the source.


Well, the science checks out. (via Shreddies)

The best thing about "Shreddies," underwear designed to absorb and destroy fart smells of every flavor, is their marketing.

Look how sexy and fun they make suppressing your farts look:


This. Is. Romance. (via Shreddies)

And if you're extremely neurotic about your human body doing what it was designed to do (excrete disgusting stuff), they also make a line of pants. Double-bag that toot!


They look like normal, fart dispersal jeans! (via Shreddies)

They say the cloth has carbon that absorbs unwelcome odors, but all I'm seeing is the thin blue denim line holding back stank waves. At the end of the night, after all the preliminary butt smelling, underwear comes off. There must be some residue or lingering stankitude, that much worse for having been trapped for so long. Like when you open your mouth after waking up and have cotton-mouth morning breath. But for your butthole.

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We all just need to relax and accept ourselves. If someone doesn't love you at you empty-colon best, they don't deserve you at your ate-too-many-grapes worst. Let your farts fly free, people, like doves!

Sources: My Shreddies