Recently, I wrote about the horrible recipes in Happy Living! A Guidebook for Brides, a 1970 book that my mom was given when she created her wedding registry. Although the food section of that book is the most condescending, the pages on interior design have their own special terrors, serving as a reminder that not all eras of home decoration feel timeless. Advance apologies if these pictures bring up repressed memories of some garish room in your grandmother's house.

1. Finally, a dining room color scheme that says "I'm a member of the Red Hat Society, and this is the room where I'm going to die."

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2. We now have an answer to the question so many men have been asking: The drapes match the bedspread and the windowseat cushion, and the carpet matches nothing.

3. Try making all of the fruit on your centerpiece the same color to remind yourself that your life as a homemaker is depressingly unvaried.

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