All dad wants is for his kids to realize he's a sexual human being in need of warming oils and stay-hard lube.

With promos like these, that crappy bottle of cologne you buy Dad every year is smelling better and better. Maybe we gravitate toward boring gifts like after-shave and ties because our dads scare us (and occasionally gross us out) and we don't want to actually get to know them well enough to find out what they want. Father's Day promos and gift ideas like these really aren't helping.


No thanks. We took our dad on a father-son all nude ski weekend for Christmas.


Fatherhood neutered you, Dad. It's only fair that you neuter the cat.


Mom knows about your secret family. Surprise! You should'a seen your face!


That should read "the man who gave birth to your daddy issues."



Wait for the pot to dry before drinking scotch from it. Why are you having sex with the pottery shop owner?

Sources: Reddit | HuffPo | Papundits | FailBlog | BuzzFeed | Derek Medlin on Twitter