He doesn't even look that high.


The new Push for Pizza smartphone app might be the best worst idea in the history of fantastically bad ideas. The concept is simple - it's for people who find themselves hungry for pizza, but can't deal with the hassle of actually ordering one because they're in the middle of, say, performing emergency bypass surgery. Or, more likely, ripping their 8th bong hit and are simply too high to trust themselves to dial the correct number, put coherent sentences together, or remember their own address.

With Push for Pizza, no matter how wasted you happen to be, as long as you're still capable of holding your phone, deciding between plain cheese or pepperoni, and pushing three buttons, you'll be eating pizza faster than you can say, "sorry, dude. I only have a dollar."

That is, as long as you've already set up an account with the company. Otherwise, you and your baked buddies will be extremely disappointed after an hour or so when you finally figure out there's no pizza coming.

The app is connected to Delivery.com and other existing services that would prove to be way too complicated for the target demo of Push for Pizza.

The application does allow the user to toggle through options for other pizza places in the area. The problem with that, though, is that toggling is really close to actually ordering. And that sounds like a huge buzzkill which kind of defeats the purpose of using Push for Pizza in the first place, when the whole point of the app is so that wasted bros can eat pizza while fist-bumping other bros and saying, "I just pushed a button and a dude brought me pizza!"

Sources: Uproxx | Slate