You know that canned pumpkin you've been eating your whole life? All lies. That orange crap in a can is actually squash.

In the great pumpkin exposé of 2016, Food & Wine uncovered what Big Pumpkin has been hiding with whipped cream all our lives.

Libby’s, the brand that produces about 85% of the country’s canned “pumpkin” filling, has actually developed a certain variety of squash that they grow, package, and distribute to supermarkets across the country–all the while fooling innocent, trusting consumers into believing they’re eating a pumpkin.


Da fuq? Even when the can says "100% pumpkin," it's not pumpkin. Supposedly, this is for everyone's benefit, because real pumpkin meat is "watery and stringy," but how are they allowed to lie like that? It turns out that the USDA isn't bothered by gourds, just like how "natural ingredients" is a USDA approved term for "chemicals made from natural molecules." These pumpkin canners know they can get away with it because they know we're never going to roast our own pumpkins… and you know those pumpkin spice lattes ain't real. Does the world even know what pumpkin tastes like?