Are you drinking and driving right now? Call us on your cell phone!
Why chase an ambulance when you can already make sure the drunk driver has your number in his cupholder? At Williams Law Firm we believe in defending scumbags smarter, not harder. That's why we cover beers in ads that make drunk driving look less risky, because we'll get you off! For other services, ask your local drug dealer for our pamphlet on possession with intent to distribute! Williams Law Firm: "Don't think, just call us after."
Sources: Redditor no-mega