Why didn't anybody tell me that there are farms making pizza that are called pizza farms?

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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. (via Thinkstock)

Patricia and Douglas Cooper surveyed their land from the porch. The red pies were coming in early this year, but they were still small, yet. Of course, they'd pick some soon. But others they'd give time to grow into mediums, larges, or even extra larges. Patricia walked over to the side of the porch, near the swing, and took a deep breath. The air was thick with the scent of cola blossoms on the free two-liter soda tree her grandfather planted so many years ago. She turned to her husband and said: "We live in paradise."

I hope you enjoyed that excerpt from my new novel, The Pizza Farm.

So, I have some good news and bad news. The good news: the Associated Press recently revealed the existence of pizza farms, which are farms that make and serve pizza on their property, using as many farm-grown ingredients as they can. Pizza eaters come with their own drinks, blankets to sit on, and even plates and napkins. Then they lay around on the farm grounds, chowing down on pizza and just enjoying the heck out of life.

I know that this seems like the vision of perfection, but according to the Associated Press, "Running a pizza farm isn't all idyllic." If the Associated Press wasn't an organization of such high repute, I'd assume this to be a LIE, because running a pizza farm is obviously the best thing in the world. But, the AP reports, many pizza farmers deal with stiff regulations — in the case of one pizza farm that makes its own cheeses and sourdough crust, they were only able open to the public for a few weekends and holidays because they were dealing with so many inspection issues.

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Sources: h/t Consumerist | AP