"I am the one who poops." (via)
Babies. They're a lot of work. So it's only fair that we get to use them to entertain us by dressing them in Halloween costumes they couldn't possibly understand. And if they object to being shoved into some adorably offensive outfit, we can just wait until they're sleeping and then do it. Yes, that's creepy. But it is, after all, Halloween.
"What you call love was invented by guys like me, to get juice." (via)
His fixation on his mother isn't that weird yet. (via)