"Age is just a number" is an old adage that is cute until you're freaking out about being one silver hair away from looking like Mike Meyers (the actor)—who is actually pretty damn good looking for his age. Folks know they're getting old, they just don't want to be constantly reminded of it, OK? You darn tootin' kids! In these 25 hilarious stories culled from different Reddit threads and Twitter hashtags, both elders and youngins share the moment they realized time was no longer on their side.
1. The fact that science_fireball used the word "youths" makes this story more hilarious.
The other day I saw about 4 youths loitering down the street smoking cigarettes. Then I realized I was standing on my front porch glaring at them. Oh, how the tables have turned.
2. RainbowRoadMushroom thinks this portable music player is popular amongst the young folk.
I was explaining to interns how do use a piece of equipment that used D cell batteries. The words "like you would use in your boombox" escaped my lips....
3. This dad needs to bring this musical storage device back.
why did I just have to explain to my son what the cd player in my car was. #damnimold— wearyrestless (@SaltyPito) March 27, 2016
and as I'm typing the tweet about cd's my phone doesnt even know what a cd is because it autocorrects it every time I type cd....#damnimold— wearyrestless (@SaltyPito) March 27, 2016
4. But do you really, Rusty_Phoenix?
One of my young brother's friends asked me if I knew what an "internet meme" was.
5. interplanetjanet is a not a fan of the 90s.
Every time I see a "90s kids will remember this" post and realize that I don't recognize any of it, because it was after my time.
6. edstatue probably thought his baby face was going to last long.
I stopped being carded at the liquor store. I was like, shit, you sure you don't want to see it?
7. F-0X probably wants some little F-0Xes of his own.
When friends started having planned children.
8. This guy probably has one too many online subscriptions.
I keep having to scroll further and further to enter my date of birth when signing up for something.
9. The kids really need to get jiggy with it right, pprbckwrtr?
I was talking to some teenagers I worked with and one of them mentioned Miami so I broke out into the song by Will Smith. They looked at me strange and I was like "Oh is that too old for you? Its by Will Smith". They wouldn't believe me that Will Smith did music, and thought he was only an actor. I felt reallllllyyy old.
10. This woman's musical reference isn't that old.
Me: "Why do you have a bandaid on your face? You look like Nelly."— Emily Dodson (@realEmilyDodson) April 19, 2016
7th Graders: "Who is Nelly?"#ImOld
11. imakepies is living vicariously through these athletes.
When I watch football (in the UK). A player I adore and admire, the same as I did with players when I was younger, is now the same age or younger than me.
I am hero worshipping people sometimes 7 years my junior.
12. johnsmcjohn makes a pretty good point about hair.
The first time I found a gray hair and decided not to pull it out because having hair on my head was more important than what color it was.
13. PvP_Noob probably despises company happy hours.
I was legally drinking before some of my coworkers were born.
14. hhairy is at least 57-years-old or a liar.
I like to tell people that when I was born, there were only 48 stars on the American flag.
15. Can someone get this woman some pain-relieving cream?
16. TheBQE thinks people in their twenties shouldn't complain.
When 24 year olds are all like, "Damn, I'm old."
17. TheBaadestMeinhoff is probably not that old, but he surely is a gentleman.
When meeting a girl for the first time, I recently noticed that I instinctively look at her ring finger. When did I get old enough that enough people are engaged/married that this is an actual concern???
18. Hopefully, conf01 isn't that old.
I'm single now, after 15 years. Once I got my shit together and started feeling good about myself, I started walking a little prouder. Confident. Hell ... cocky.
One day I was in the supermarket getting a few things and these two girls started walking down the aisle toward me. They were both tall and quite lovely. They looked my way and started smiling.
Shoulders back. Head up. Show those pearly whites, man.
"Hey look, it's [daughter's name]'s dad. Hey [daughter's name]'s dad.
Shoulders flop. Head droops. Mouth covers teeth. "Hey girls. How are you?" Head to the juice isle. I'm lactose intolerant now too. Fucking old ass.
19. And this guy too.
I went down to tailgate for a football game with some friends. We were hanging out, talking when a friend's daughter showed up with one of her friends. Knowing the daughter was 23 and a senior in college, the friend should be 22-23-24 or so. And super hot.
We're all just talking friendly, normal tailgate conversation. I went to the food table to get more nachos and the daughter's friend followed me over there. She's talking about something and then asks for my phone number. I felt great, getting hit on by a college girl. I'm getting ready to act flattered and let her down gently that I'm happily married.
She then swiftly cuts me down by following up with "I really think you and my mom would be a good pair".
EDIT: I forgot to include, that evening I told my wife what happened and I've never seen her laugh so hard. She then offered to give my number to her mom.
20. This woman had a really long day.
21. geekcheese revisited a Disney classic and it made her feel old.
I watched The Little Mermaid and totally agreed with Ariel's dad.
22. Whatever you do, don't call Aegon342 "sir."
Held the door for a college aged girl. She smiled at me. I smiled back. She said, "Thank you, sir."
The sir was a knife to the heart.
23. This dude probably tweeted this from Coachella.
24. This guy needs to put a ring on it, but not as badly as he thinks.
25. InTheLurkingGlass is young, but his or her little brother doesn't think so.
The day my little brother looked at me in disbelief and said "You were born BEFORE the turn of the century?"
I'm in my twenties.