It's definitely too cruel to call this Reddit guy an idiot, since he's already dealing with a pair of testicles that he describes as resembling a "crumpled cannoli." But at the same time, his mistake cannot be overemphasized. If calling this man an idiot will prevent you from making the same mistake—oh reader, you of the most normal scrotum—then "idiot" must become his alias.

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The Idiot writes of his ill-fated meeting with way too much Lotrimin powder.

One night I awoke to an itch so excruciating I was reduced to slathering my testicles and gooch in rubbing alcohol - going so far as to putting on a pair of fresh rubber gloves and fingering the remnants of alcohol up my pooper to calm the atrocious sphincter tingle. Denial would no longer work...I did indeed have a raging case of jock itch.

Horrifyingly, this is how redditor SorrowOnSeventh begins his tale. Speculating on why he thought to lather himself in rubbing alcohol seems best left to a professional psychologist—unfortunately, no mental health professional appears in the rest of his tale.

After purchasing fifty dollars worth of various ringworm, jock itch, anti-fungal sprays, powders and lotions, I immediately started spraying my junk with a gray, aerosol can of Lotrimin powder the second I got back into my car.

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