Volunteers were sent to buy a bunch of edible marijuana, all of which scientists determined would get you either too high or not high enough—in other words, Goldilocks would be disappointed.

One thing science can't explain is how these dank nugs got so big! (via Thinkstock)


In real life study that sounds like a stoned college kid's fantasy, volunteers from three different cities that sell marijuana legally were given $400 to spend on any edibles they wanted. The unsurprising results: the snacks' THC levels were horribly mislabeled. Surprisingly, they were mislabeled differently in different cities. In some places, snacks have way more psychoactive chemicals than advertised. In others, the snacks promise way more punch than they deliver. The only consistent thing is that they were all wrong.

That's what happens when high people put pot in food. Their recipe gets all out of whack, because who wants to cook when you're mad high? You just want to dip one hand into some Nutella and the other into some peanut butter and mix the two in your mouth. That's as complicated as the recipe should get.

I was hoping scientists would the level of highness in each subject. If it were me running the experiment, I'd have measured how long each volunteer laughed at a cat video, what percentage of an entire bag of Cheetos they ate alone, or asked each volunteer if being watched by a team of scientists sent them into a spiral of paranoia. I would also measure the intensity with which subjects defended The Beatles as "like, the best band that ever was."

Sources: The Washington Post