A Boston-based Craigslist user posted an ad offering his services as a real, live Elf on the Shelf. For $100 an hour, he offers to sit perfectly still at a holiday party of your choosing, just like Big Brother-ish childen's toy. It's like that dad that posed as a creepy Elf on the Shelf, but for hire. And there's more! In the ad (since flagged by some grinch), he reveals he's also a private investigator and babysitter for some reason:

For $100/hour I will come to your holiday party dressed as the Elf on the Shelf and sit in any location you assign me while I stare emptily at your guests for the duration of the event.

I specialize in holiday themed events, either yours or an un-expecting friend's, but I also offer contracted private investigation and babysitting services. Please inquire about these rates, as they are negotiable based on the task at hand.

My services have been in high demand this season, so I now require at least 48 hours notice in advance of any bookings and appreciate your understanding.

Thank you, and happy holidays!

Nice placement of the hands.
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Craigslist offer lots of people you can hire for $100 an hour that will sit anywhere you assign them while they stare at you with empty eyes. Their services are also in high demand this holiday season! But they're probably not also private investigators and babysitters. Hopefully he takes off the outfit as a private investigator, otherwise he'd be easy to spot in a parked car or up in a tree with binoculars. 

Sources: Craigslist | Boston.com