University of Florida student Patrick Mims really decided to go for broke in finding a date for his upcoming school formal. Instead of asking any of his classmates, he set his sights slightly higher, to America's girl next door: Jennifer Lawrence. But he knew that he couldn't sway J. Law with any ordinary promposal video. (Formalposal?)

Instead, he compiled every red flag he could think of into the creepiest, eeriest, and most vaguely threatening invitation video he could make. This thing has it all: blue body paint, a garbage bag worn as a shirt, and burning effigies, all set to a soundtrack of ominously discordant music and lyrics that are just slightly off the beat. Put together, the combination is terrifying.

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Congratulations, Jennifer! You've got an exciting opportunity coming up for you on April 1st! And if not, you'd better go into hiding now. Before it's too late.