Political theorists and pirates often envy the same things, like a real career. Zing, pirates.
Prof. Rex Brynen of McGill University in Montreal was getting tons of requests to extend the deadline for his class' big research paper, according to this redditor and student. Now, if you attended college anytime in the last few decades, you may have heard of this thing called "grade inflation" and the general policy of "coddling these little brats so they can't fail," a policy crucial to obtaining my own degree.
Fortunately, as the divinely-sanctioned King of POLI 340 (Developing Areas/Middle East Comparative Politics), Prof. Bynen can ban the influence of modern American (or in this case, Canadian) culture, and he does so with extreme severity. Obviously, this letter doubles as a pretty good lesson on tyranny, and the authoritarian policies common to the Middle East - pretending to give Christmas off as a gift, honoring the cherished traditions of the secret police, blaming Israel and justifying everything by saying locusts will come if you don't get your way.
This will prepare them excellently for the challenges of representing Canada's interest in Middle Eastern politics. If someone could tell me what those are, I'm sure they're fascinating. McGill is probably one of the few universities left where not giving the students their way is the norm, as it's notorious for resisting grade inflation, which will teach their students another important lesson in world politics: no matter how much better you did (like every other developed country in building a 21st-Century education system), Americans will still figure out a way to call themselves #1.
P.S. I just realized his name is Rex. His name is actually King Brynen. Mind=blown.
(by Johnny McNulty)