As a Nokia employee, I was stunned to open my mail and find the coolest Nokia ever!

There was a time that Nokia could slap its name on a hunk of plastic with lights on it and the world would line up to pay. Over the last few years, however, everyone's been coo-coo for Apple's plastic hunks, so Nokia has had to resort to the desperate measure of fluffing their own review to get "the kids" talking about their product on their tweets. The result is a social marketing disaster written by someone whose profile picture makes it look like he was genetically engineered in a vat of enthusiasm. Beginning the review with the words "like a kid on Christmas morning" is literally just the start — check out the rest of the consumer propaganda below:

A phone is a big purchase. You HAVE to make sure it can match your jumper.

Cinemagraphs have got me thinking about photos as crappier versions of Vines.

Correction: I was copying my review from a Nokia memo and just made this up to cover it.



You'd be mistaken. However, this isn't the case. You'd think it'd suck. It doesn't.

Sources: Conversations.Nokia.Com