I used to (pretend to) be a vegetarian, and eating turkey on Thanksgiving still makes me a little uncomfortable. I prefer to have my meat pre-cubed in a boneless, skinless form that's not readily identifiable as a formerly living creature. Please share how much that makes you hate me in the comments!
But I would have no problem biting into a thick, juicy turkey leg on Thanksgiving if turkeys were this big of douchebags. The Unpardonable Turkey creator lets you dress your turkey up like a complete asshole—complete with white guy dreadlocks, "No Fat Chicks" t-shirt, and Crocs, so you'll feel better about causing their untimely demise. You can also add a speech bubble that says something truly reprehensible like "Thanks Obama!" or "I'm in advertising." Die, turkey scum!
Here are some turkeys I created that deserve to be made into gravy:
It would be a mercy killing.
Even PETA wants this turkey dead.
Make your own Unpardonable Turkey. Your conscience and stomach will thank you.
(by Shira Rachel Danan)